Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have fence marks all over my body
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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