My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
