im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
