Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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