Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
