No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
