you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize