i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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