If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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