you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
