i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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