Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize