so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
