Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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