i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
