You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
