I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
