Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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