you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
