i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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