There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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