My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
