i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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