He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
