dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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