Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
