ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
