How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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