Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
