i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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