My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
...so i touched it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize