I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
if only i could text you this smell
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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