My liver just broke up with me...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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