The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
