Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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