Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you never un-have a 4some
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
