Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
