SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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