I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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