Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
