did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's the barista slut.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
