He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
