Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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