dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
