i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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