But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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