Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
