Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
