You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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