No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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