Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
