My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize