You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
