She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
