Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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