2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
