well I can't set my house on fire every night
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
