I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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