Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
