He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
