called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
