I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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