So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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