I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
