I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
